Tell Me I'm Okay

Tell Me I'm Okay

 

 

 

List my ailments, but tell me I'm okay

List the probabilities, but tell me I'm okay

Give me facts, but tell me I'm okay

Explain the risks, but tell me I'm okay

Scare the life out of me, but tell me I'm okay

Lie to me. Tell me I'm okay.

Pray for me. Tell me I'm okay.

Smile. Tell me I'm okay.

Hug me. Tell me I'm okay.

 

 

Do whatever you feel you need to, but tell me I'm okay.

Migraine While Traveling

So yesterday I was out of state working and I had the time of my life. My job was called "The Energizer" which meant I got to dance around and get everyone pumped. Believe me, I'm very good at my job. Toward the end of the night I felt it: the spidey sense. I knew a bad migraine was coming. I even warned the masses of the upcoming storm.

So I drove to my very dirty motel. On the way, I experienced the most excruciating pain that I had such a difficult time driving. People kept honking, flashing their brights, and riding my bumper. It was raining as well, by the way. Perfect weather for angry drivers to put me more into harms way.

Well I finally got to the motel room and I had hardly any energy left. I was grasping the last spoon so tight it hurt more. I checked in and walked into my room. The door barely locked but I had no energy left to go to the front desk and ask for a more secure room (dumb). The bed sheets had cigarette burns and spots of blood (seriously run for the hills). So what did I do? I curled up in the fetal position on top of the bed and didn't move. I had zero energy for crying, screaming, or anything but lying still. I rubbed my temples, silently prayed, and debated calling 911. After two hours, I finally got the pain level lowered so I could sleep. 

So the moral to the story is...be safe. Migraine hurts but don't be stupid. I should have went to the hospital and properly got treatment. Be careful out there, spoonies!

Goodbye 2014: A Look at an Amazing Year

Well I've been on a hiatus from blogging lately, but I need to get back into the groove. So many exciting things have happened in 2014!

1. Promotion - In January, I was promoted at my "day job" from seasonal key holder to Assistant Manager. It's a job I enjoy, but it isn't my career goal at the moment. I went full time to gain the income I needed to support headshots, acting classes, paying bills, and reducing debt.

2. Busch Gardens - I auditioned and booked roles in the live entertainment events of Howl O Scream and Christmas Town at Busch Gardens in Tampa. Due to the need to work more than my full time job would allow, I transferred to another store and became a part time manager. This allowed me to keep the freedom of pursuing my passions. Howl O Scream was an amazing experience and I met so many talented people. We all still keep in touch and hopefully will remain friends for a  while. Our characters were cannibals fresh from the mental institution, which was a joy to portray. We used improv the ENTIRE time we were on set. We did have our beginnings to our madness which was reset several times during the performances, but that made it more enjoyable for the viewers. Being in the atmosphere really helped me develop this character and maybe even turn her into a short horror film with the others. For Christmas Town, I was Santa's helper, Dimples the elf. This required a LOT of improv skills, but was so worth it. To see the magic in each child's eyes was simply breathtaking.

3. "White Angel" - In the spring and summer, I worked on a superhero feature film in Daytona. For this film, I was portraying a bully turned snake villain. The latex makeup was stunning and I built a great relationship with the cast. Can't wait to see the finished product.

4. "The Legend of Kate Kensington" - In the fall, I booked a supporting role on the upcoming thriller, "The Legend of Kate Kensington," where I play the main character's sister in flashbacks. This role required deep emotion and really pushed my limits. A piece of the scene can be found on my reel https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CtTdPOwFGbo&list=UU2u9UpH0OZO-2qzxBH9K9vA

5. "Migraine Hell" - In the summer, I announced I'd be pursuing my first writing to come to life. "Migraine Hell" is about a chronic migraine patient's follow up appointment that goes hell-ish. I'm very excited to film this in January 2015.

6. Indiegogo - For my first film, I launched an Indiegogo campaign that fell flat. I did most of the steps I thought would help it become successful, but it wasn't. I did two promotional teasers to build hype, an interview type video to show each cast and crew and why they wanted to be a part of this project, and of course used social media to share as much as I could with proper hashtags. The crowdfunding process is extremely difficult and stressful, so I will not be doing it again anytime soon.

7. Bouncy Boxer Media - For my self-publishing, I used my Bouncy Boxer Media name, but this year I decided to expand it to film. In 2015, I'll be using this company to make as many things as I can. Every beginning filmmaker starts somewhere. For me, it'll be in YouTube videos, short films, a web series, and spoofs. I want to tap into many aspects of filmmaking to see what my niche is. So far, I'm loving producing. I have control over the start to finish of the project (which being a control freak and a writer comes in handy) and I learn so much. I've built some great relationships with established filmmakers who can help me learn so many things.

8. Balloons! - Toward the end of 2014, I made a connection with a special events company to learn balloon artistry. This will become a side gig for 2015 to make extra money for debt payoffs. It's challenging, but I will learn more with each balloon. Kids love it!

9. Brand Ambassador - One of my other side gigs was to be a brand ambassador for marketing companies. I loved every gig I booked and look forward to many more!

In closing, 2014 was pretty great. I started to challenge myself and make goals for the future. Now 2015 will be about putting plans in place to reach those goals and learn everything I can. Keep a look out! I'm excited!

New gigs, new statuses, and new adventures

Hey guys! So I haven't posted in a while. Mostly because I've been crazy busy! Here's an update since we last spoke:

1. I'm bringing a screenplay to life! That's right! I wrote a short comedy and it'll be filmed in January. This gives me adequate time to find funding (Indiegogo and investors), get all paperwork together, and just have fun with it. We are on social media at http://www.facebook.com/themigrainehell and @themigrainehell on Twitter. I'm line producing and the lead in this production. I'm learning a TON and will bring this experience on to the next project.

2. I scored two holiday gigs! I auditioned and booked roles at Busch Gardens! Very excited!

3. I am now part time at my "day job." Although I'm still being scheduled full time, hopefully soon I'll be getting less hours at the shop so I can do more with my creative endeavors. 

4. I'm meeting so many people! Oh the life of a filmmaker! One thing I enjoy almost as much as filming is making new friends and connections. I'm loving all the experiences!

5. My migraines are going down! This past year has been great for my migraines. Don't jump up and down just yet: I do still get them. However, it's significantly less than before. I think it mostly has to do with me doing what I love and being so happy! 

So be looking out for more! Http://www.imdb.me/stefaniedavis 

Migraine Hell

So I've been a busy bee lately! This week I was in a commercial, and two new tv series. I was just an extra in an episode for both but the experiences and networking opportunities were great. 

So a couple weeks ago, I made a bold decision to bring one of my writings to life. I wrote a short comedic screenplay about the frustrations of migraines. I presented it to some friends in the film business and they loved it! 

Being the aggressive passionate person that I am, I started a social media following and we will have our first pre production meeting this week. It's going to be low budget and out of my pocket but the message will be amazing. It will give spoonies a bit of relief and hopefully a laugh. 

We start filming in January after the holidays are done so we have time to raise funds, do promotion, and build a hype. In this experience, I build my media company (I use it for self publishing too) for more than just writing. 

Also after the holidays, I'd like to go into part time work where I currently am and focus more on my art. In order to do that, I need to start finding ways to make money doing my art. 

My first full length fiction novel will be set to release in the fall and I have a romantic comedy screenplay started. I finished a feature film that's a thriller but the budget will be bigger than expected. So I need to build up investors, profit, and capital in order to start it.

My dreams are set in motion. I'm going to be bringing my musical dreams to life soon as well. I can do it all! I can be happy! I can achieve my dreams! 

Head and Shoulders, Knees, and Ouch!

Last night my neck and back went horribly out of place so I had to go to Urgent Care to be treated. The doctor got me some medication to lower the pain until I was able to get to a chiropractor. Luckily, one squeezed me in this morning. When I got there, I saw they do X rays before they even touch you so they know what needs to be treated. I already knew my neck was straight instead of curved and my upper back is curved instead of straight. I also found out this chiropractor specialized in migraines! He showed me where in my neck the migraine affect. It was so nice to be treated without judgement by someone who actually knows what they are doing! He wanted me to come in again this week in case my neck goes out again and causes a migraine. 

Have you tried chiropractor treatments for your migraines?

Work vs. Real Life

I've been struggling these past couple weeks with migraine due to increased stress at work. A part of me wonders how much it's worth being screamed at by people who just want to save a couple bucks. Not only do they raise my blood pressure with the added stress, but I'm also triggering a new migraine. Why is it necessary to call me every name in the book because you wore an outfit for a day then wanted to return it? Why must people proceed to verbally abuse my associates because they were obeying the company policy and doing their job? Do I yell at people when I want something done? NO! I was raised to do the right thing and play with the cards handed to you. Yet, many others skim by, take advantage, and get what they want. How is this right?

Yesterday I went back to the bad neurologist to get my results from a recent EEG: normal. Dude you could have saved me the $40 copayment and just call me. The only thing I'll be using this office for will be getting Botox back. If they can even do that correctly. 

Tomorrow I'm doing a field vision test because my optic nerves weren't looking great at my last eye exam. I'm not going to lie, I'm nervous. With everything I've found out about my broken body, I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop. It would be great to know what's really going on with my body and how to fix it. However, I don't think I'll ever be that lucky.

So I continue to be yelled at during work to keep my insurance, do a good job, and work with a great team. If it weren't for my coworkers, I'd run for the hills. 

I'm also continuing to audition and submit for acting projects. Keeping my passion current! Slowly working on three writing projects and wanting to premiere them this summer/fall. With the pain and work, I've been trying to find the time to do what I actually WANT to do. 

Upcoming Project - "Migraine Hell"

A couple months ago I wrote a short film called, "Migraine Hell" that I wanted to get started on soon. However, I saw the Tampa Bay Theatre Festival was having a playwright competition and immediately scratched my head. What if this story was a one act play? It certainly would be funnier with a live audience, but what if they didn't get it? There's a big risk involved, but I'm up for it. Here's why:

1. I want to bring a comedic side to a typical spoonie office visit

2. I want to show people how frustrating the entire spoonie doctor visit process is.

3. I want people to think about side effects, co pays, how outsiders view illness, etc.

4. This is a good first step for me as a writer/actor.

5. If it goes well, I can work on turning it into a full play.

6. It might bring a smile to another spoonie in the audience.

I'll keep you guys up to date on the progress! Keep up the inspiration!

Projects, Health, and Living

So many things are coming for 2014! I've been slowly getting back to the groove on my writing  as well as adding more ideas to my notebook for the future.

Once I get new headshots (drastically cut my hair), I can submit for more acting opportunities. I've been taking a class with an independent filmmaker and love it! I've made some great friends and have already done two projects in film.

Now that I have insurance and a steady paycheck, I'm getting into debt annihilation mode. I've also started a 52 week savings challenge to save money into a couple accounts. Determination is the key.

As far as writings, my fiction novel is coming along with 5000 words so far and a great beginning to a heart touching story. I'm so excited to share it this summer. I've also been beginning a feature film screenplay but I'm unsure how it's going to go. The only way to find out is to type!

Migraines have been taking a vacation (well not fully) thanks to the wonderful Florida weather. I've been reintroducing foods like dairy to my diet and taking notes on my body's reaction. Cooking has been taking a back burner lately but I'm getting back into the groove.

What have you been working on lately?

Alternative Medicine

Write about alternative treatments and regimens and tell us how you feel about them. What do you support? What is crazy? Have you used any?

Well since I've been a pill guinea pig in the past, I'm constantly searching for alternative treatments for migraine. The first I've tried was the diet that I've been on for a year. Yes, I cheat, but for the most part I stick to it and I've noticed improvement in intensity and frequency in my migraine. If you're unsure of what diet I'm talking about, check out my blog post about it. http://themigrainechef.blogspot.com/2013/04/breakdown-of-headache-diet.html

Besides the diet, I've tried Botox, vitamins instead of meds, massage, and exercise. I've been meaning to try acupuncture and other types of massage aimed at specific nerves. I'm always open to alternative medicine because I HATE side effects! However, some of the alternative methods may not be for you. Be sure to do your research before attempting. 

I wrote a small screenplay for my filmmakers group making fun of a doctor's visit and the doctor recommended drilling holes in the patient's head because Google said so. It's amazing what people will believe these days. I fully support the diet, Botox, and using exercise to keep the blood pumping. Vitamins are great too. I'm deficient in B and D so I take those daily vitamins as well as magnesium and melatonin. It's all about what works for YOU!

Say WHAT?

Okay I'm way behind but here's Day 6 of the WEGO Health NHBPM:

What’s the most ridiculous thing you've heard about your health condition? Was there any context? What did you think at the time you heard it – and what do you think of it now?

The most ridiculous thing I've heard about migraines was all the "remedies" like coffee (caffeine is a migraine trigger), a crazy green smoothie where half the ingredients are common migraine triggers, and how they can be "cured." Many just don't understand that migraines are about controlling triggers, not finding a cure. I'll always have them, but some days will be less than others. Since many don't understand, I constantly get "have you tried this?" and "well my aunt's dog's godmother did this and she was cured." Most of the time I get annoyed and just say that yes I've tried it or I calmly say that I've tried everything I can afford/handle at the moment. If I tried every remedy on the internet, I'd be even more broke than I am! 

Now when I hear people trying to help, I educate them. I let them know that I know they mean well and are trying to help, but my doctors and I are developing plans to try out. I also mention that due to this illness I'm very stressed and frustrated which can trigger another migraine so I do not wish to talk about it often. I use my writing as a tool to express feelings and concerns as well as share what I've tried and how it worked/didn't work. Many can read and choose to take it in or not. 

Training Wheels

Write about a time your health condition forced you to grow up and take the training wheels off (so to speak).

My journey began when I was already a fully functioning adult with bills to pay and a job to support them. My training wheels were off and way behind me. When I started having more problems with my migraines, I felt like I needed crutches, not training wheels. Something to lean on when it got too tough but would go back into the utility closet once its use was done. 

A couple months ago when I made the decision to move from KC to my parent's house in FL, I felt like I had crutches and training wheels back on. My parents pay the majority of the bills and I work as much as I can. My ego hurts a lot, but I know this was the best option. Once all my medical and personal debts are settled, I can take those training wheels back off and find a new place to call home. 

Affirmation: I accomplish little tasks effectively

Reflection:
Doing little things well is the foundation of my success
www.affirmationstation.com

As a spoonie, sometimes it's the little things that make the most impact. When you're three spoons down, getting the laundry done, cooking dinner, or freshening up the bathroom can make a world's difference. I try to take my life one spoon at a time, which means I look to the little things often. Today, I have a tutoring session, going to do Zumba (if spoons allow), and plan on getting some more accomplished with my Headache Diet Grocery Shopping Guide. With each little task, I can evaluate my spoons and move on to the next. If I focus on the big things too much (finances, career situation, living situation), I'll stress out too much and ultimately cause a flare. Yes, keeping up with the bigger items are very important, but it's the little things that build up to it. Here's an example:

Goal: Debt free
To accomplish this goal I need to focus on each bill. Paying little by little and working with each debtor will help me get to the final payoffs.

Goal: Getting back on my own
To accomplish this goal, I need to gradually purchase the small stuff we never think of (dishes, hangers, furniture, etc) so I do not freak out and have to buy it all at once. This helps lower the stress which can lower the chances for flares.

Goal: Build a long lasting career...in something that works for me
This one is a bit difficult. I was a banker before and had a flexible schedule, but my migraines made it difficult to keep a full-time schedule. I constantly had to use personal/vacation time to make it up, which isn't good. For now, I am working part-time in retail, tutoring students in math, and hoping to create some revenue from my books. Will either of these create a career path? You never know. I am also looking into being a certified teacher in business, science, or math (or all) so that's another possibility. I can use my degree for something and feel accomplished by molding young minds. For now, I can't stress on it. I need to do what I can, pay what I can, and see where the wind takes me.

It's all about balance. By accomplishing the little tasks effectively, you are ultimately helping the big picture become brighter. So if you find yourself looking to the big things, write down each small task to accomplish it and take it one task at a time.

The Cycle of a Spoonie

Today has been a typical spoonie day. Let me explain:

1. Wake up with sore muscles and have to take an extra half hour to hour to fully get up.
2. Try to save as many spoons while getting ready. Put your mask on, get it together, and head out.
3. The commute brings a migraine due to the sounds, lights, and frustration.
4. Once you get to work, you stretch to keep trying to get your sore muscles to wake up.
5. During with you do as much as you can to not trigger a migraine. You take breaks, turn away from the computer, and take walks to keep the leg muscles warm.
6. That 3:00 sugar low hits and you sneak a snack to keep from another migraine.
7. At the end of the day, you're grumpy, sore, and ready for a nap.
8. You get home and soak in the tub to relax and have dinner based on your pain level.
9. Time for bed. It's 8 pm but you don't care.

It's a catch 22: you sleep to reduce pain then get sore from too much sleep. Where's the median?

Back to Reality - and it SUCKS!

Well, vacation is done and over with. I had a great time visiting with family, not having a care in the world, and being free of any stressor.

Now I'm back and the woes I had when I left are still here. Did I think they would magically disappear? This week has already been challenging thanks to some body aches (weather & hormone triggers) and migraine. I had to cancel my MRI yesterday because I physically could not get out of bed. Tomorrow is my GI consult so hopefully we can do some testing in that area to see what's going on with my body not absorbing essential vitamins.

The other day, I saw a person follow me on Twitter that claimed he "cures" migraines. Sorry, but last I knew, there is no cure. Unless there's some new scientific breakthrough that the spoonie community doesn't know about, then I'm not buying it. I see so many products and even a smoothie that claims to "cure" migraine. If there was a real cure, it'd be extremely expensive, not something you could get at a drug store.

Okay I need to stop ranting. Can you tell I'm in a poor mood today? :)

This week I'm working on the format of my next writing project. It's a guide to the headache diet I keep blabbing about and I think it'll be a good resource to those who want to eat cleaner and reduce migraine dietary triggers. I'm working very hard on it and hope to have it out in print and digital (yes, I'm doing both this time) by the fall. I'm trying not to work on multiple projects at one time because that will slow down my goals. So once this one is out, I have my next one to do! I'm a busy bee but I definitely have been taking proper breaks for rest/relaxation.

Low Grade Pain = Productive Until Migraine is Triggered

This morning I had a bad migraine, which gave me a stiff neck so I had to wait to go to work. Man, I love when that happens. When I got to work, my vertigo was at a minimum and pain was just at "light switch level" (turns on and off in an instant) so I was able to get a lot of work done until I triggered a migraine and had to go home.

I made sure to buy my dog a new bone and toy because I felt I'd be able to conquer the world this evening and I was RIGHT! I've been organizing paperwork, dishes are done, laundry in progress, dinner is probably going to be quick, and now I can do some writing! I have a bad feeling all this productivity will trigger a migraine though. Does anyone else have this issue?

Here's what I've tried to minimize it:

1. Pace yourself - Take breaks when you can and keep hydrated. Remember, water is always your friend. When you live with chronic pain, simple activities are like running to "normal" people. Keep a good pace and don't rush.

2. Distraction - I love music and tend to play my 90's Pandora Station while accomplishing my tasks. Not only does each song bring a new inspiration and emotion, but the music itself distracts me from the throbbing pain in my hands/head when I try to work.

3. Smile - Ever notice that things don't seem so bad when you just take a moment and smile? Sometimes I need to stop, force a smile, look in the mirror, and I've fixed myself for at least five minutes. Each moment of relief is a blessing.

4. When your psychic ability tells you it's time, then stop - We can't overdo our activities and cause more pain than intended. You know when pain is coming (although sometimes we don't) so when that "feeling" hits you, then it's time to call it for a while.

I hope you all have low-grade days! **Virtual Hug** I made this e-card today to describe this feeling.

Bunny Jumping in My Head

One day, a child asked me what a migraine felt like. It's difficult to explain these pains to them so I made this poem:

The only way to tell you about the pain in my head, 

is to say there must be a bunny jumping on the bed

You see, he lives on my brain, but he doesn't sleep much 

because he has dance parties with friends and causes me to fuss

He doesn't want to leave or stay still for very long 

because everyday my head hurts, and I start to see a fog

He likes to visit my tummy to do cartwheels and flips. 

It makes me feel icky with lots of bathroom trips

He likes to play bumper cars all over my tired brain. 

His fun is never ending and neither is my pain

The doctor says he’s here to stay, but we can make him sleepy. 

With diet, exercise, and medicine I won’t be so weepy

Maybe one day we can be friends, and he’ll stop jumping all the time. 

Give me a day or two to rest before he has his fun tonight.

Faces of Migraine 2013

Please take the time to watch this video about migraine. Today is Chronic Migraine Awareness Day.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dW5LYDLyfvk&feature=youtube_gdata_player 

Lincoln

Who's your favorite historical figures who lived with migraines or another headache disorder?

I Googled "historical figures with migraines" and the most inspirational woman came up: Marilyn Monroe. Why do I say she's inspirational? The woman has curves and embraces them! She proved to women in the past, present, and future that curves are beautiful. She chased her dreams, inspired women everywhere, and battled migraine. Her triggers were more than likely flashing lights, sounds, and smoke. 

The Huffington Post did an article in May 2012 about 13 Celebrities with Migraines to include:

Marcia Cross (Desperate Housewives) - migraineur since age 14

Lisa Kudrow (Romy & Michele's High School Reunion) - child migraines

Cindy McCain (Senator McCain's wife) - silent struggle with migraines

Ben Affleck (Argo) - treated in the ER in 2006

Kristin Chenoweth (Wicked) - uses Botox as treatment

Janet Jackson (music superstar) - vestibular migraine 

Kareem Abdul-Jabbar (LA Lakers) - used alternative treatments like acupuncture and diet

Michele Bachmann (2012 Presidential candidate) - criticized by the public about migraines

Loretta Lynn (country legend) - migraineur since age 17

Serena Williams (tennis superstar) - menstrual migraine

Carly Simon (music superstar) - found alcohol was the biggest trigger

Jeff Tweedy (musician) - migraines connected to mood disorders

Troy Aikman (Dallas Cowboys) - believes fathers smoking as a child contributed

You are not alone! 

Star Trek: Generations

What role does migraine play in my family history?

My mother had awful migraines as a teen. She missed classes and of course had to deal with other teenage woes while suffering from migraine. She told me when she was am adult, she no longer had them.

Her middle sister gets them worse than I've ever heard of. She's paralyzed for days and is in so much pain. She's gone to many different doctors and, like me, they don't know what to do with her. She also has rheumatoid arthritis and blood pressure problems.

My mother's youngest sister used to have a headache everyday. She used Zomig and said after her daughter was born, she no longer had the problem.

My maternal grandfather has your two diabetes, My maternal grandmother has thyroid issues. My youngest sister inherited the thyroid issues.

And then there's me. I never had a problem with migraines until 2009 when a three day migraine kept me crying in bed. After that, I got a daily headache that was treated with Excedrin, the so-called savior to pain. Finally in 2011 after frequent migraines and a trip to the ER, I started seeing a neurologist. My diagnosis so far is Chronic Migraine and Vitamin B12 Deficiency.

I was cursed from the start I guess.