Work vs. Real Life

I've been struggling these past couple weeks with migraine due to increased stress at work. A part of me wonders how much it's worth being screamed at by people who just want to save a couple bucks. Not only do they raise my blood pressure with the added stress, but I'm also triggering a new migraine. Why is it necessary to call me every name in the book because you wore an outfit for a day then wanted to return it? Why must people proceed to verbally abuse my associates because they were obeying the company policy and doing their job? Do I yell at people when I want something done? NO! I was raised to do the right thing and play with the cards handed to you. Yet, many others skim by, take advantage, and get what they want. How is this right?

Yesterday I went back to the bad neurologist to get my results from a recent EEG: normal. Dude you could have saved me the $40 copayment and just call me. The only thing I'll be using this office for will be getting Botox back. If they can even do that correctly. 

Tomorrow I'm doing a field vision test because my optic nerves weren't looking great at my last eye exam. I'm not going to lie, I'm nervous. With everything I've found out about my broken body, I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop. It would be great to know what's really going on with my body and how to fix it. However, I don't think I'll ever be that lucky.

So I continue to be yelled at during work to keep my insurance, do a good job, and work with a great team. If it weren't for my coworkers, I'd run for the hills. 

I'm also continuing to audition and submit for acting projects. Keeping my passion current! Slowly working on three writing projects and wanting to premiere them this summer/fall. With the pain and work, I've been trying to find the time to do what I actually WANT to do. 

Upcoming Project - "Migraine Hell"

A couple months ago I wrote a short film called, "Migraine Hell" that I wanted to get started on soon. However, I saw the Tampa Bay Theatre Festival was having a playwright competition and immediately scratched my head. What if this story was a one act play? It certainly would be funnier with a live audience, but what if they didn't get it? There's a big risk involved, but I'm up for it. Here's why:

1. I want to bring a comedic side to a typical spoonie office visit

2. I want to show people how frustrating the entire spoonie doctor visit process is.

3. I want people to think about side effects, co pays, how outsiders view illness, etc.

4. This is a good first step for me as a writer/actor.

5. If it goes well, I can work on turning it into a full play.

6. It might bring a smile to another spoonie in the audience.

I'll keep you guys up to date on the progress! Keep up the inspiration!

Finding a New Doctor is like Dating

Well I'm 0 for 2 for my appointments today. My neurology consult was a bust but I hope I can only use this office for Botox. 

As I'm explaining my symptoms, past medications, and triggers, I am relieved that he's diligently writing down all details. At the end of it, however, he looks frustrated. He then says, "Whatever. What do you want me to do for you again?" Smoke immediately came out of my ears. Who says that to a new patient? After everything I've explained I had been through, was that really the best response?

Granted it's not the first time I've been shut down by a doctor. My first neurologist just kept prescribing pills and typing in his little laptop, barely acknowledging I was in the room. No bedside manner whatsoever. My neurologist, who was actually a physician's assistant, was the best. My first consult was a two hour detailed meeting with head to toe assessment and plans that didn't involve chemicals. Maybe I should see if she'll move down here? Wishful thinking.

Well an EEG is scheduled, which I need, and the Botox request is being sent to insurance. That's as far as I'll go with this office. Time for the next one! 

With every situation I need to remember this is a process and I need to be patient. (Get it?) Although it's difficult, I have to stay positive and know that I'm living life the way I want. 

What are your first appointment nightmare stories?

 

The Eyes Have It

Now that I have insurance again, I have begun the new doctor searches and appointments. This morning I went to the eye doctor because well....it was way overdue. They offered a service to take 3D photos of your eyes to see if there are any issues. They say the eyes are the windows to the soul...

Well mine needs a closer look. When looking at my optic nerve, both eyes showed a thinning near my optic nerve. After explaining my B12 deficiency, the doctor quickly wrote it down and asked me questions about it. Since I don't know how long I was severely deficient in the B, I have no idea how much damage was caused. So we're doing a vision field test in a couple weeks.

Damn, I thought the eye doctor was going to be an easy visit! Such is the life of a spoonie. Moral to the visit: take the time to do these extra tests. You never know what you'll find. This one only cost me $39 and was paid with my flex plan. Crossing fingers and toes for positive results or an easy solution. Anyone else have this issue?