Lobster Syndrome: My Common Symptom

I have a common symptom that drives me batty! I call it the Lobster Syndrome. Let me know if this sounds familiar to you:

1. My face and ears get really red

2. I feel like I'm boiling in a pot of water

3. I feel like clawing at anyone who annoys me or triggers more pain

4. All I want to do is take a nice bath to relax 

5. I'm pretty sure I'd be delicious if cooked and served with butter (now I'm just being silly)

Anyone else have these symptoms?